Who's to Blame???: by Delvyn Crawford
Not too long ago, I was forced to take the City bus to work on a Monday morning, due to my ball joint giving out on my vehicle. The previous night, I took my family out for dinner, and after a fun filled evening full of togetherness, my left wheel nearly came off after pulling into our driveway. Upset that I just spent over $500 dollars for a fuel injector just over a month before, I was quickly brought down from my anger after realizing that the wheel could've came off while I was traveling 75mph on the highway. If that would've occurred, serious injuries or death could've been the result for my family. Aware of this, I thanked God that He sustained us, and allowed the ball joint to come off when we got home, rather than the highway.
As I sat near the back of the bus, browsing through some flyers I picked up from the local corner store, I observed around fifteen teenagers getting aboard. All of them appeared to be going to school, due to their backpacks, books, and other school related items in their possession. One of the teenagers, who didn't have their bus pass or fare, walked on the bus without paying. When the bus driver told the teenager that he had to pay or get off the bus, the teenager angrily cursed the bus driver out, and threatened their life. Frightened, the bus driver didn't put up any rebuttal, and allowed the teenager to stay on the bus without paying.
As I sat there in my seat, observing what had just took place, I was disturbed by what the other teenagers were doing. One openly belittled a man sitting on the bus that appeared to be homeless, another began smoking weed and passed it to his peers, others decided to make out in the back of the bus by kissing and touching each other inappropriately, some loudly shouted derogatory lyrics from the songs they were listening to on their I-Pods, and the rest went back and forth about the latest gossip in entertainment.
As I looked around, the other passengers on the bus either had their heads down, was pretending to read their books and newspapers, or did anything they could to stay to themselves. One lady, who started to notice her toddler look at the group of teenagers, pulled her son close to her side, and warned him not to look in their direction. Boiling inside, I started to feel compelled to stand up and address the behavior of these teenagers, until I overheard the ones sitting behind me plotting on how they were going to sneak their gun into school. Immediately I thought, "Is addressing the behavior of these teenagers worth the risk?" "I have a wife and two kids for crying out loud." "But if I don't, who will?" Before I knew it, as these random thoughts were coming across my mind, the teenagers finally came to their stop.
When the teenagers got off the bus, a sense of relief came to all those who remained on board. People stop pretending that they were reading, the lady with the toddler no longer held him so close to her side, and some even became cordial with others. With no other means of transportation, these people were forced to put up with the behavior of these teenagers on a regular basis. Then I thought, "Who's to blame for the behavior of these teenagers?" Is it their parents, and the way that they were raised?" "Is it the environment from which they came?" "Is their behavior a reflection of being subjected to heartache and pain?" I sat there and wondered, "Who's to blame?" Is it a lack of love within their lives? Has entertainment and media blinded their eyes? Is it because they have despised the Truth, for the sake of lies? "Who's to blame?"
Posted by Gutter Blogs at 4/11/2011 4:25 PM 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Gutter Enterprises Gutter Blogs Delvyn Crawford Delvyn Real on Reel Productions Go Daddy Whos to blame Youth City bus
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: Gutter Enterprises Gutter Blogs Delvyn Crawford Delvyn Real on Reel Productions Go Daddy Whos to blame Youth City bus
I understand your frustration completely. I am the mother of a 18 year old son and two daughters, 6 & 3. Due to the environment that your are subject too when in public places in the city, I have a total dislike for public transportation. I will however ride the regional rail since this experience is totally different. I am willing to pay extra for the peace of mind. Yet by avoidance am I also to blame? Is it my moral and Christian responsibility to spread the love that Jesus Christ shared? What happened to "Love thy neighbor"? I may have shouted out and corrected the bad behavior, I have been known to do this many times. I feel protected by the Lamb and so I will not be harmed(just as in the case with your wheel(0:0)) To speak out would be best. If you are caught in this situation again, remember you must say something in the best possible way you can without being insultive. If they don't get it at home, as long as we are there, they will still get it! God Bless and happy travels. Loving what you do!!!!!
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First and foremost, I'll like to thank you for your comment. I remember the bible saying that Jesus saw the crowd, and was moved by compassion. Like you, I pray that I have the compassion to reach out to those that may offend me; because there's no offense in the law of LOVE. I agree that not being insultive is the key, just like a soft answer turns away wrath. Thanks for your wisdom and insight!!! God Bless you as well.
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Who is to blame? Maybe the parents,the teachers,their friends,the bus driver the list goes on and on. We can continue to debate who is at fault, but at the end of the day it is a YOU problem. God gave each of us the ability to make our own choices everyday. Everyone knows what is right and what is wrong and if YOU choose to do something wrong then YOU are to blame. Our society spends all of its time looking to blame someone. Why to you think this generation is so quick to blame someone for their failures and bad choices. We all need to stand up and be personally accountable for our actions. And its time that we teach all of our kids that You hold the key to your future!!
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First and foremost, I would like to thank your for your comment. I am in agreement with your response, however, to some degree I believe it's more on the parents, then it’s on the teachers, friends, and etc. Proverbs 22.6 says, "Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it". I'm a firm believer that the fear of God, and the way that a child should learn to conduct themselves is established and started during infancy. In fact, between the ages of 6-10, children are more independent; and if the parent/guardian hasn't instilled the morals/values within them, (by leading by example), they start to become influenced by everything other than what they should be taught at home. As a result, their actions can stream from a lack of knowledge and understanding; and for the lack of, God's people are destroyed. So to reiterate what you said, as parents, it does begin with YOU. Once it begins with us, I believe it'll be more difficult for that bus driver, friend, teacher or etc; to lead them in a direction different than what they was taught at home.
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Unbelievable
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I have a son that will be 16 in a few months. All of his life, I have done everything I could to raise him the right way; to make sure we lived in the nice neighborhoods; to make sure he attended some of the best schools; to make sure he was active in our church…all for what? It seems as if none of what I instilled in him, or tried to instill, did any good.
He rejected it all. He wanted to be like everyone else, except for whom I knew he could be. As a young African American male, it was important for me to remind him of how important he was. I let him know that his walk would not be easy, but if he stayed strong, it would all be worthwhile.
Since March of this year, he has been in and out of Youth Homes, been caught stealing, running away from home, threatening his own life, told me on numerous occasions that he hated me and everyone else in our family, been abusive to my 10 year old son...
Yet, society blames me.
Society tells me that I didn’t love my child enough, or that I was a bad example. Society tells me, that because I was a single mom, I wasn’t good enough to BE a mom. Society tells me not to spank my child. And then, society locks them away.
So yes, I would like to know…who is to blame?
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I came upon your web-site from "Go-Daddy" while searching for a hosting site for my upcoming book. As I read this, it reminded me of my days in "Cali". I experienced a situation very close to what you wrote about, except for the fact the young men I interacted with were more brazening with their actions and hatred towards everyone on the bus. One youth said to me... "Give me your soda or I will stick you!" I felt a pinch to my lower ribcage and I recalled my training... (I was a cop with LAPD for 4 years & left because of the racist element that existed within the department and the community I tried to serve.) I knew I was in a bad spot, I sat next to the window and he had me boxed in.
I heard from his friends... "Kill that white faggot... stick em'" I look at this boy in a young man's body and stared into his eyes. I thought about my two sons, my wife who we just married a month ago and said to the boy. "Do you really want to kill me for a half drunken coke? Because there are a dozen or so witness on this bus and you will not get away with this." I asked. His eyes were full anger and pain... "f@*k you" he yelled to me as he jumped up and reached into his waistband and removed a 9mm Glock. I gradually moved my shoulder bag toward my chest in a poor attempt to use my laptop that was in the bag as makeshift vest.
For some unknown reason, I stood up, walked towards him... inches from the barrel, and said... "IF god meant for me to die today, then I am not afraid of that. However, I feel very sorry for my wife, sons... and you. You will be someone's toy-boy for the next 20 to life if you pull that trigger," I said to him as I waited for the impact of the bullet, I knew the pain I should expect since I was shot once before and knew the pain associate with being shot. The seconds seemed like hours... nothing. He tucked the gun back into his pants and exited at the next stop as he cursed me every adjective in the book.
The fellow passengers were stunned and didn't believe what they witness and neither did I as I reflected on my actions and words. I don't blame him, but I am grateful to god for allowing me another day. Five years later, I am married to my soul mate and we have a son together. My career took us to North Carolina and I just finished writing my book and hopefully with God's blessing... I can write more!
Thank you for the story and god bless you!
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After reading this reality check I find it a case of disrespect for their fellow man. I think the teens need more loving people with positive attitudes instead of people who are constantly reflecting negative thoughts and opinions on and to them. In my life I've observed this and I also just kept to myself because it seems the risk is too great. I don't want to die for standing up for what I believe in. Even though that statement a most noble statement that one could ever make; its not reality. I think our first instinct is self-preservation (stay alive and live to see another day) until it comes to the people we truly love and will give our lives for.
I think you got the right idea and mindset; something needs to be done but what? You can't just banned teens from the bus; yell at them or even rough them up because they have no fear in those methods. They are already used to those things. Parents! Most times I've noticed that teens act mature and respectable in front of their parents. They key is to get them to realize that other people are someone else's parents and if you won't disrespect your mom or dad then don't disrespect someone else's. I guess to sum it up it all boils down to the gold rule (Do unto others as you would have them do until you or better yet love your neighbor as you love thyself).
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